During the night last night, Leaf woke up with a croupy cough. Somehow, Twig woke up too and we ended up having quite the party. It was fun (no, really, I try to enjoy these nighttime snuggle sessions) but it really cut into my sleep time.
I got up at 6:30 this morning and drove Bean to work. Oh, it was a beautiful morning! There was almost no traffic, but there were lots of joggers out. I thought, "I want to be one of those joggers! I want to be an early riser!"
Well, I will get my wish.
Things are gearing up around here for our busy fall schedule. And with Bean starting high school, that means early morning seminary. In fact, I'm on the cusp of seventeen straight years of early morning seminary. I daresay I will have the chance to develop into a morning person. I am grateful for that, although I will feel happier about it when I don't have babies keeping me up during the night anymore.
I have been doing the baby thing for fifteen solid years. Diapers, wipes, sippy cups, pacifiers, car seats, high chairs, ripped books, and huge messes have been my world for a decade and a half. They are still my world. But that world is slowly fading away.
I remember when I stood at the brink of this world, a little over fifteen years ago. I was excited but also terrified. I didn't feel ready. You never can feel ready, I realized. The only way to be ready for motherhood is to do it.
It was like being at the top of a roller coaster looking down, down, down....
Now, I feel like I'm back up at the top of the roller coaster again. I am looking down at two decades of teaching eight people how to adult, and I'm kind of terrified. I'm realizing that potty training is nothing compared to teaching a kid how to drive. Sending them off to Kindergarten is cake compared to getting them ready for college.
It's all beginning, friends. Bean just turned fifteen. On his very birthday, he landed himself a small part-time job doing yard work and handyman stuff for someone at church. It's perfect because it's only a few hours a week but it will give him some income. But now we're looking at getting him a checking account.
And a driver's permit!!!
Everything is going up a notch. High school football is more intense and involved than junior high football. Official practices start next week, though he has been going to conditioning practices all summer.
We are talking about Eagle Scout projects. This is heavy duty stuff, folks.
There are moments when I am sure I am nowhere near ready for any of this stuff, and neither is Bean. Like when I can't even get him to brush his teeth regularly (routine has never been Bean's strong point.)
And then there are times when I think that maybe I will be able to raise competent human beings after all. Like this morning. Bean set his alarm last night and got up all by himself. When I rolled out of bed at 6:30 I was expecting to have to go in there and shake him and say "hurry and throw on your clothes and grab a piece of bread! You're going to be late!" Instead I was met by a fully-dressed Bean who had already had his breakfast. I felt a tremendous thrill of hope.
Ready or not, this roller coaster ride is starting. I will be screaming "AAAAAAH!" on the way down, but in the end I will be grinning and saying "that was fun!" Right? RIGHT???