I think May is the prettiest month of the year. It's my birthday month, so maybe I'm biased. But the green, blooming days of May are to be treasured. I am looking forward to the next few weeks.
Looking at our front landscaping, I knew I needed a large shrub to go right next to the front door. I thought about it, and decided a crape myrtle would be just the ticket. Then someone from church posted on Facebook that she was digging some crape myrtles out of her yard and did anyone want them? ME! I hurried over there and got two crape myrtles-- might as well put on on the other side of the bay window to match! She also had several spirea bushes and when I saw them I knew they'd be perfect in my front bed as well. I got four of those.
I spent yesterday evening planting these treasures. It was so fun digging around in the dirt, and they look so good out there! I have to say that there is a chance the crape myrtles won't survive the transplant, as they were already looking upset when I picked them up, but I have been talking to them and telling them how much I love them and need them, so hopefully they will perk up in their new home.
Some friends dropped by yesterday and gave me a few pretty annuals they had extra, so I planted those too, and I am pretty excited about the way my front yard is looking right now.
I love my house, I love my yard, and I love my neighborhood. These things are a great blessing to me right now.
We have seven more weeks of our homeschool year, and I must confess that I'm worn out. I'm looking forward to summer break, and of course the kids are too. Some of our subjects are already wrapping up, which makes our days a little easier, but other subjects will have to stay on full blast in order to be done by our deadline. For the most part, the kids have gradually improved in their ability to work diligently and independently, but as the year draws to a close it's hard to keep all of us on task, even me sometimes.
What to do next year is weighing heavily on my mind. I do not like how thin I was spread this year, and I want to make sure Bean doesn't get shortchanged when it comes to High School. So I am re-examining every option out there: public school, private school, online school, co-ops, supplemental activities... this can be frustrating and discouraging. I have a strong thirst for excellence in education. I have seen the power of a good education, as well as the problems that are caused by a lack of one. I have spent untold hours studying education and educational methods. I am very drawn to certain private schools because of the high quality of education, but they are completely out of our budget at this point. Sometimes I think maybe if we scrimp and eat lots of ramen noodles and get some financial aid that maybe we could afford to send one of our kids to a private school, but it's really still not feasible at this point. I am more and more dismayed with the public school system for so many reasons, and when I think about sending my kids there it just really feels really really wrong. I still think about it a lot, because there are a lot of good things available there that I would like my children to have (band! drama! science labs!) but every time I think about it I just get this NO! feeling in my heart. The co-ops around here don't tend to be accepting of LDS people, which is extremely frustrating, especially since some of them are extremely well-organized and have some great offerings for high schoolers. Efforts to rally the local LDS homeschooling community have fizzled.
I trust the Lord. I've said it before, they are His children, not mine. He has a plan for them. If He is telling me no about certain options, it means that there will be a yes and it will be what it right for my kids, even if it wouldn't be my top pick. I think my top pick at this point would be to have $25,000 magically appear so that I could dress five of my children in smart-looking uniforms each morning and drop them off at the classical Christian private school, then go home and enjoy the relative peace and quiet of just Frog and the twins... what a dream. I am so tired.
Do you suppose our pioneer ancestors had days as they trudged across the plains when they dreamed of having a nice carriage appear with servants to cook their meals and do their laundry? And inns to sleep in every night along the way? They probably did sometimes. (And if they'd known about the cars and freeways and hotels and fast-food restaurants that would someday line their very route, they might not have been able to stand it!) They probably had many days where they questioned what on earth they had gotten themselves into. I bet there wasn't a day when they weren't exhausted by the time they fell into their bedroll.
But they kept going. And I will, too. I will just keep doing my best. It's okay to be exhausted. I will keep trusting that the Lord will provide what my children really need, when they need it.
And I will find peace and rejuvenation in the green beauty of May!