Saturday, February 27, 2016

How to Teach History to Eight Children

Teaching History in homeschool is easy and enjoyable!  Simply settle into your favorite chair and pile a cuddly tot or two onto your lap.  Pull out an excellent book such as Susan Wise Bauer's Story of the World, and begin to read.   Your little ones will gather 'round and listen intently, like so:

During the Seven Years' War, Britain had spent hundreds of thousands of pounds defending the American colonies.  The British thought 

"MOM!  The baby is on the table again!"
Roo, please get her down, then push the chairs in--- oh, and why don't you put her in the high chair and give her some bread.  Oh, and Fish, please go finish your breakfast at the table in the breakfast room.  We don't want stickies on the homeschool table. 

that it was high time for the colonies to put some of that money back into England's treasury.  And the simplest way to do that was 

"WAAAAAAH!  Rabbit knocked over my block tower!"
"It was an accident!" 
I'm sorry Peanut, you can build another one.  
"Mom, have you seen my Wordsmith assignment?"
(Sigh.) I don't know, Bean.  Try on top of the filing cabinet.  
"Mom! I have a runny nose!"
Yes, Frog.  Here's a tissue.

to pass laws 

"MOM!  I have a runny nose!"
Yes, Frog, I know!
 

 requiring Americans to

"MOM!  I HAVE A RUNNY NOSE!"
YES, Fro--OUCH!!!! Who pulled my hair?  Peanut, please get off the back of the chair.  
"Mom, it's not on top of the filing cabinet."
Try the box of scrap paper on the---
"THE BABY HAS A POOPY DIAPER!!!"
"MOM, I HAVE A RUNNY NOSE!!!"
Okay, guys, hang on.  I just have to change this diaper real quick and help Frog wipe his nose.  Don't go away.  
 "Hey, Mom, last night I had a dream that we were back in Utah at Grandma's house only it was made of cheese and there were penguins everywhere and I could fly but only when I was touching peanut butter, so--"
"MOM!  Bean pushed me!"
"I did not!  But she's not supposed to be playing the piano right now!"
That's true.  Rabbit, stay off the piano.  Bean, do not manhandle your little sister.  Okay, guys, diaper is changed.  Let me just get settled here...
"HE TOOK MY SPOT!  I WAS SITTING BY MOM!"
"WAAAAHHH!!! I WANT TO SIT NEXT TO MOM!!!"
Peanut, let Frog have a turn.  Why don't you go get out the pattern blocks?  All right, where were we?
 
 pay extra taxes.  So Parliament and the king's ministers wrote a series of new tax laws, called Acts.  The first tax law, the Sugar Act, was passed just one year after the Treaty of Paris.  Now, Americans had to pay extra money for all sugar and molasses that came into American ports--unless the sugar came from 

"WAAAAAAH!!!!!!"
Someone go get the baby out of the high chair.  And by the way, where is the other baby?  
"She went upstairs just now."
Fish, you run up and make sure all the doors are shut and locked up there so she doesn't choke on Legos.  
"MOM!  Frog is hogging all the yellow blocks!"
Frog, come back and sit on my lap.  It *was* your turn.  Yes, bring the animal book.  Good idea.

Britain.  The Americans hated the Sugar Act.  And they hated the Stamp Act, which was passed the following year, even more.  The Stamp Act told them to

 "Look Mom!  A baby elephant!"
Yes, Frog.
"Mom, look!  A baby elephant!"
Yes, Frog!  I see!   FISH!!! Come back downstairs please!  You're supposed to be listening to History!  Bring the baby too, while you're at it.  
"A baby elephant, Mom!"
Yes, Frog!  It's a very nice baby elephant.  Now please be quiet so Mommy can read aloud.  

 pay extra money to Britain every time they bought newspapers, pamphlets, dice, or playing cards.  And every time a legal document like a will or a diploma was written,

*Thunk*  "WAAAAAAH!!!!"   
Oh dear, poor Twig bonked her head.  Bring her to me, please.  Oh, poor sweet Twig.  I'm so sorry.
 "Mom, I got a paper cut."
I'm sorry, Roo.  
"It's bleeding a lot."
Go get a band-aid then. 

 the colonist who owned it had to pay a fee to get it "stamped" and made official.  All of this money went to Britain. 


"Wait, what did you say?"  
Well--
"Mom!  look at the baby elephant!"
Frog!  Please stop!
"Lunch time!"
Yes, Bean, by all means... 

2 comments:

Aflyonmyhomeschoolwall said...

Ha! :)

I can totally identify!!!

Courtney said...

Exactly :) We finally moved our group history lesson to after the twins and babies go to bed. I sure do enjoy reading your blog.