It's cool and rainy in Utah today. I love days like these. I have always loved the sound and smell of rain in general, but there is nothing more beautiful than a rainy autumn day in the Utah mountains. The colors of the mountains themselves are a deep gray-- almost dark blue-- from being wet. The hint of fall color on their flanks seems to glow. And I love the way wisps of clouds cling to them here and there lower down, looking strange and mystical.
As I write this, I remember when I moved to Utah when I was fifteen, in June of 1994. I was very unhappy, despite the fact that I had always loved my vacations here, and the hot, dry summer seemed to go on for a very long time. The first days when I remember really loving Utah were the rainy autumn days just like this one. I hadn't been in Utah during the autumn since I could remember. The beauty of the rain-soaked mountains spoke deeply to my soul and I felt like maybe I was going to be okay here after all, eventually. It still took awhile, but I was.
That's what happened today. I had to go to the store this morning and as I drove I had some really beautiful views of the mountains. I felt so grateful to be able to experience another autumn along the Wasatch front. Something inside me felt fed, and I felt more alive. I remembered how much I love this place, despite how crazy the pace of life has gotten here. And I felt that maybe I was going to be okay here after all, eventually. It still may take awhile, but I know that I will be.